Why Japanese People Ignore Read Messages

A man holding a cell phone (Image by Freepik)

Have you ever sent a message to a Japanese friend or acquaintance, seen the “read” sign, and never gotten a response? This occurrence, which may be frustrating for some, actually reflects a number of cultural factors and social contexts in Japan that need to be understood. It’s not that they’re intentionally ignoring you, there’s often a reason behind it that’s more complex than just indifference. Let’s explore some possible explanations:

Culture of Caution and Conflict Avoidance

Japanese culture values harmony and avoiding conflict. Responding inappropriately or hastily is considered rude and can disrupt interpersonal harmony. If someone is having trouble responding promptly and appropriately, they may choose to delay their response rather than give a short, incomplete, or possibly unfriendly response. They prefer to take the time to formulate an appropriate and polite response rather than give a response that seems rushed or thoughtless. Seeing a “read” mark with no response does not mean that your message has been ignored, but rather that they are considering how to respond in an appropriate and contextual way.

Social Hierarchy and Politeness

Illustration of a man using a smartphone

In Japanese society, social hierarchy plays an important role in communication. The relationship between the sender and receiver of a message greatly influences how the message is responded to. For example, a response to a superior may require more thought and consideration than a response to a peer. Delaying a response is not a sign of indifference, but rather a sign of respect for social hierarchy and politeness. They may feel the need to formulate a formal and appropriate response according to the sender's social position.

Busyness and Social Pressure

Japan is known for its hard-working culture and long working hours. Many Japanese individuals feel overwhelmed by the demands of their work and social lives. Replying to messages may be delayed because they are truly busy and do not have the time to provide an adequate response. They may feel it is better to reply later when they have the time and space to provide a better response rather than giving a short and unserious response. This does not mean that they do not appreciate your message, but rather that their priorities may lie with work responsibilities or other pressing tasks.

Differences in Communication Styles

The Japanese communication style tends to be more implicit than explicit. They may not always explicitly state their feelings or opinions, and this can also be true in digital communication. Even when a message has been read, they may still need time to process the information and formulate a response that is appropriate to their communication style, which tends to be more subtle and indirect. Silence does not necessarily mean disagreement or indifference, but rather they may be considering how to convey their message in a more polite and subtle way.

Reluctance to Disturb

Japanese people are often very sensitive to the potential for disturbing others. If someone feels that responding to a message will disturb others, they may choose to delay responding until a more appropriate time. This shows respect and consideration for the other person's time and activities. They may feel that responding at an inappropriate time could be considered rude.

Smartphone Usage and Messaging Apps

The way smartphones and messaging apps are used in Japan can be different from other countries. Some people may check their messages infrequently, or may accidentally read a message without paying close attention to its contents. They may only notice the message after some time, and then feel the need to take time to formulate an appropriate response.

Generational Differences

Generational differences can also affect how someone responds to messages. Younger generations may be quicker and more frequent in responding to messages, while older generations may tend to be slower and more deliberate in responding.

Shame

Shyness is a common emotion in Japan. A person may feel embarrassed or awkward about responding to a message right away, especially if they feel that their response may not be good enough or appropriate. They prefer to delay responding until they feel more confident in giving an appropriate response.

Related surveys 

Reported from PR TIMES, Matching App Daigaku operated by Next level Inc. conducted a survey on ignoring as read among 256 single men and women aged between 20 and 39. If your interlocutor is Japanese, here is a look at why Japanese people read and ignore messages sent via social media. Social media commonly used by Japanese people such as LINE and so on.

What is ignoring a message as read? The majority of respondents around 19.5% answered “despite being marked as read, I have not received a reply for more than a day”. In addition, around 14.5% respondents answered “I have not received a reply to my question for more than a day even though it has been marked as read”.

Thus, the Japanese argue that A message is ignored as read if the message has been marked as read but there has been no reply after a day. Around 44.9% responders ever ignored messages as read multiple times and only 4.7% responders will never ignore a message as read.

Around 47.7% responders ignore messages as read when “I don’t know what to reply”. Other answers that were often chosen were “It’s a hassle to reply” (46.1%), “Situations when I can’t reply” (38.3%), “The content is trivial” (34.8%), and “I forgot to reply” (32.4%). Meanwhile, only a few respondents chose “Content that I don’t want to respond to” (18.8%) and “People I don’t want to talk to” (18.8%). Therefore, there is little chance that they do not want to respond or talk to the other person.

Top Answers message content that Japanese people want to ignore as read namely “repeated invitations” (56.3%), “Stickers only” (54.3%), and “Grumbling and dissatisfaction, complaints, taunts, and so on” (44.5%). Regarding the interlocutor whose message has been ignored as read, The top answers for men were same-sex friends (67.6%), opposite-sex friends (39.6%), and acquaintances (36.0%) and the top answers for women were same-sex friends (62.8%), opposite-sex friends (59.3%), and mother (39.3%).

Thus, Women tend to ignore messages as read from friends of the opposite sex. compared to men. In addition, there is a tendency woman (9.0%) ignores messages as read from a person she is interested in compared to men (3.6%). Meanwhile, men (45.9%) and women (43.4%) appear to be more ignore messages as read from a close interlocutor.

About before and after dating, 37.1% respondents answered “I do not ignore as read either before or after dating” and 32.9% respondents answered “I ignore as read both before and after dating”. In addition, 35.8% respondents answered “I ignore as read before dating” and 64.2% respondents answered “I ignore as read after dating”. This shows the tendency to ignore as read increases after dating.

Is there a relationship between dismissing as read and affection? 60% men and 63.4% women answered “Because there is affection, so it doesn't matter even if you ignore it as read.” In addition, 24.0% men and 26.8% women answered “there is a part of being stuck in a habit.” This shows that Japanese people feel no problem ignoring it as read because of affection, but there are times when they feel stuck in a rut so ignore it as read.

Around 49.6% responder sometimes has his messages ignored as read and 35.5% of respondents had their messages ignored as read several times. Most messages were ignored as read by friends of the same sex (67.3%) and the opposite sex (42.4%). Around 33.9% of respondents had their messages ignored as read by their lover or dating partner and around 19.2% of respondents had their messages ignored as read by the person they were interested in. Thus, It is very likely that the message was ignored as read by a friend. compared to a lover or dating partner and the person he or she is interested in.

About the feeling when your message is ignored as read, approximately 34.0% men and 49.3% women answered “Can't say anything about people because you yourself do it too“. In addition, more women answered “I became anxious because he/she was not answered” (31.7%), “I was worried whether he/she was in a condition where he/she could not answer” (27.5%), “I felt treated inappropriately” (20.4%), and “I felt angry” (13.4%) compared to men. Thus, Women tend to be more worried and angry if their messages are ignored as read.

Conclusion

Seeing a “read” sign with no response from a Japanese contact does not necessarily mean neglect or indifference. Rather, it often reflects complex cultural and social contexts. Understanding these cultural nuances is essential to avoiding misunderstandings and maintaining a harmonious relationship. It is best to give them time and space to respond, and avoid jumping to conclusions. If you feel the need to contact them again, try to do so in a polite and understanding manner. Remember that patience and cultural understanding are key to building good relationships with Japanese people.