The Mystery of Read Messages: 8 Reasons Japanese People Ignore Them

Have you ever sent a message to a Japanese friend or acquaintance, seen the “read” sign, and never gotten a response? This occurrence, which may be frustrating for some, actually reflects a number of cultural factors and social contexts in Japan that need to be understood. It’s not that they’re intentionally ignoring you, there’s often a reason behind it that’s more complex than just indifference. Let’s explore some possible explanations for why Japanese people ignore read messages.

Culture of Caution and Conflict Avoidance

Japanese culture values ​​harmony and avoiding conflict. Responding inappropriately or hastily is considered rude and can disrupt interpersonal harmony. If someone is having trouble responding promptly and appropriately, they may choose to delay their response rather than give a short, incomplete, or possibly unfriendly response. They prefer to take the time to formulate an appropriate and polite response rather than give a response that seems rushed or thoughtless. Seeing a “read” mark with no response does not mean that your message has been ignored, but rather that they are considering how to respond in an appropriate and contextual way.

Social Hierarchy and Politeness

In Japanese society, social hierarchy plays a significant role in communication. The relationship between the sender and receiver of a message greatly influences how the message is responded to. For example, a response to a superior may require more thought and consideration than a response to a peer. Delaying a response is not a sign of indifference, but rather a sign of respect for social hierarchy and politeness. They may feel the need to formulate a formal and appropriate response according to the sender's social position and thus ignore the message being read.

Busyness and Social Pressure

Japan is known for its hard-working culture and long working hours. Many Japanese individuals feel overwhelmed by the demands of their work and social lives. Replying to messages may be delayed because they are simply too busy to give an adequate response. They may feel it is better to reply later when they have the time and space to give a better response rather than giving a short and unimportant response. This does not mean that they do not appreciate your message, but rather that their priorities may lie with work responsibilities or other pressing tasks that they ignore the message as read.

Differences in Communication Styles

The Japanese communication style tends to be more implicit than explicit. They may not always explicitly state their feelings or opinions, and this can also be true in digital communication. Even if a message has been read, they may still need time to process the information and formulate a response that is appropriate to their communication style which tends to be more subtle and indirect. Silence does not necessarily mean disagreement or indifference, but rather they may be considering how to convey their message in a more polite and subtle way and thus ignore the message being read.

Reluctance to Interfere

Japanese people are often very sensitive to the potential for disturbing others. If someone feels that responding to a message will disturb others, they may choose to delay responding until a more appropriate time. This shows respect and consideration for the other person's time and activities. They may feel that responding at an inappropriate time could be considered rude and therefore ignore the message as read.

Smartphone Usage and Messaging Apps

The way smartphones and messaging apps are used in Japan can be different from other countries. Some people may check their messages infrequently, or they may accidentally read a message without paying close attention to its content. They may only notice the message after some time, and then feel the need to take the time to formulate an appropriate response, thus ignoring the message as having been read.

Generational Differences

Generational differences can also affect how someone responds to messages. Younger generations may be quicker and more frequent in responding to messages, while older generations may tend to be slower and more careful in responding, thus ignoring that the message has been read.

Feeling ashamed

Embarrassment is a common emotion in Japan. A person may feel embarrassed or awkward about responding to a message immediately, especially if they feel that their response may not be good enough or appropriate. They prefer to delay responding until they feel more confident in giving an appropriate response, thus ignoring the message as read.

Related Surveys 

Reported from PR TIMES, Matching App Daigaku operated by Next level Inc. conducted a survey on ignore as read among 256 single men and women aged between 20 and 39. If your interlocutor is Japanese, here is a look at why Japanese people read and ignore messages sent via social media. Social media commonly used by Japanese people like LINE and so on.

What is ignore read messages? The majority of respondents around 19.5% answered “despite being marked as read, I have not received a reply for more than a day”. In addition, around 14.5% of respondents answered “I have not received a reply to my question for more than a day even though it has been marked as read”.

Thus, the Japanese argue that ignore read messages if the message has been marked as read but there is no reply after a day. About 44.9% of respondents ever ignored messages that have been read many times and only 4.7% of respondents would never ignore a message as read.

Around 47.7% of respondents ignore read messages when “I don’t know what to say”. Other answers that were often chosen were “It’s a hassle to reply” (46.1%), “Situations when I can’t reply” (38.3%), “The content is trivial” (34.8%), and “I forget to reply” (32.4%). Meanwhile, only a few respondents chose “Content I don’t want to respond to” (18.8%) and “People I don’t want to talk to” (18.8%). Therefore, there is little chance that they do not want to respond or talk to the other person.

Top Answers message content that Japanese people want to ignore as read namely “repeated invitations” (56.3%), “Stickers only” (54.3%), and “Grumbling and dissatisfaction, complaints, taunts, and so on” (44.5%). Regarding the interlocutor whose message has been ignored as read, The top answers for men were same-sex friends (67.6%), opposite-sex friends (39.6%), and acquaintances (36.0%) and the top answers for women were same-sex friends (62.8%), opposite-sex friends (59.3%), and mother (39.3%).

Thus, Women tend to ignore read messages from friends of the opposite sex. compared to men. In addition, there is a tendency women (9.0%) ignore read messages from people they are interested in compared to men (3.6%). Meanwhile, men (45.9%) and women (43.4%) seem to be more ignore read messages from people you have a close relationship with.

About before and after dating, 37.1% of respondents answered “I do not ignore read messages either before or after a date” and 32.9% of respondents answered “I ignore read messages before and after a date”. In addition, 35.8% of respondents answered “I ignore read messages before a date” and 64.2% of respondents answered “I ignore read messages after a date”. This shows that the tendency to ignore read messages increases after dating.

Is there a relationship between ignoring read messages and affection? 60% of men and 63.4% of women answered “Because there is affection, so it doesn't matter even if you ignore the message has been read.” In addition, 24.0% of men and 26.8% of women answered “there is a part of being stuck in a habit.” This shows that Japanese people feel it's okay to ignore read messages because they care., but there are times when they feel stuck in a rut so you ignore read messages.

Around 49.6% of respondents sometimes have their messages ignored as read and 35.5% of respondents had their messages ignored as read several times. Most messages were ignored as read by friends of the same sex (67.3%) and the opposite sex (42.4%). Around 33.9% of respondents had their messages ignored as read by their lover or dating partner and around 19.2% of respondents had their messages ignored as read by the person they were interested in. Thus, It is very likely that the message was ignored as read by a friend. compared to a lover or dating partner and the person he or she is interested in.

About the feeling when your message is ignored as read, about 34.0% of men and 49.3% of women answered “Can't say anything about people because you yourself do it too“. In addition, more women answered “I became anxious because he was not answered” (31.7%), “I was worried whether he was in a state of not being able to answer” (27.5%), “I felt treated inappropriately” (20.4%), and “I felt angry” (13.4%) compared to men. Thus, Women tend to be more worried and angry if their messages are ignored as read.

Conclusion

Seeing a “read” sign with no response from a Japanese contact does not necessarily mean neglect or indifference. Rather, it often reflects complex cultural and social contexts. Understanding these cultural nuances is essential to avoiding misunderstandings and maintaining a harmonious relationship. It is best to give them time and space to respond, and avoid jumping to conclusions. If you feel the need to contact them again, try to do so in a polite and understanding manner. Remember that patience and cultural understanding are key to building good relationships with Japanese people.